Nervous breakdown!!

What if my pictures aren’t good enough? What if the judges catch on to the simple fact that I have never been to a photojournalism school and therefore do a sub par job at telling stories? What if I’m not really as passionate about storytelling as I think I am? If that’s the case do I have what it takes to become more passionate?

What it really comes down to is this, am I willing to take the risk of not being accepted and still feel validated in what I do?

These are all the questions and fears that have run through my head today as I think about applying to the top photojournalism workshop in the nation called Barnstorm. Basically you have thousands of applicants that send in their portfolios to a panel of 30 judges who then look over the images and select the top 100 applicants to come for an intense and exhausting weekend of hardcore photojournalism training. This weekend has been called “boot camp” and for good reasons. You sleep maybe 18 hours in the 4 days you are there, trying to spend every waking moment talking with and learning from the top professionals in the photojournalism field.

So with much fear and trembling I am working through the application process and hope to be registered in a few days. If you think about it, say a BIG prayer for me. I need peace in moving forward with this. Going through this process brings out a lot of insecurities in me. I’ll keep you posted on how things go.