In Response To
This is a first for me. Directly responding to a blog comment in a post is not something I have done before. I may not do it again after this.
In the last few days I have had “anonymous” comments left by people who do not identify themselves by anything but a pen name, giving me no context in which to respond because I do not know whom I am responding to. This is a consequence of having a blog in which I allow anyone to view and anyone to comment on. And I am ok with this.
Now onto the “challenge” and my response. Someone going by the name of “Inquisitor” left two comments both full of questions to which I may not have the kind of answers they are seeking. Here we go.
“I've read several of your blogs and often say to myself...so what? What's the purpose? Why are you doing this?...It's like your spinning, void of direction, why? What is your focus?”
First off I would like to welcome you, Inquisitor, to the postmodern era. Welcome. Life is not as it appears and cannot simply be summed up by a “vision statement”. I believe that those who offer answers and ways of “direction” for your life are not to be trusted. They are salesmen trying to diminish the complexity of life into a five-step success plan. My focus, if you must know, is to lose focus. Lose control, lose myself, and lose my mind. “Its only after you’ve lost everything that you’re free to do anything” states Palahniuk.
“Any creation or artistic expenditure has a purpose… What is your purpose? Where are you going with this? Why are you doing it? What is its goal? What is YOUR goal?”
Often that creative “purpose” you speak of is to create something that society cannot immediately deem “purposeful”. I do not create for the sake of others. I create because I must and I create for myself. If you derive some fuzzy feeling or inspiration from what I have put forth please understand that this is only an unintended side effect of my creative musings.
“Your posts leave me empty...famished, but with the TASTE of possibility. I'm hungry feed me with more than self-masturbation, self-inventory, hopeless despairs about the state of the world, and self-edification.”
It’s a very Western idea (and in this context I am intending “Western” to serve as an insult, so by all means please feel free to be insulted) to think that art or creativity should give you the viewer something in return. If you are “famished” and looking for “possibility” perhaps you have come to the wrong place. I am no sage, savior or prophet dispensing advice, hope or ways to better live life to the hungry masses. There are enough places for you to find what you are looking for and that is not what I have created this space to be.
Walk into any church, self help seminar or bookstore and you are bound to find something to fill you up if what you are seeking is only to sate the hunger pains you experience. I say stay hungry for the questions and forget the supposedly fulfilling answers that are peddled on street corners like so much cheap sex.
Of course you will find “self-masturbation, self-inventory, hopeless despairs about the state of the world, and self-edification” on my blog, that’s partly why it exists. On top of that I give you the reader the complete right to interpret what I write any way you like. Where you see only “hopeless despairs about the state of the world” others might see hope. Yet again I will restate that this blog is not a place for you to find hope or whatever else it is you might be looking for.
“Where have you come from? What were u made for? Who are u doing this for? Show me what you are made of, or are u too soft in the comfort of your life with less hardships?”
So this is the last set of questions to which I will respond. Where I have come from and what I am made for are wholly unanswerable questions as far as I am concerned, so I will not answer them. As far as “showing you what I am made of” goes I can only ask you this question in return, is it possible to show something like that over a blog? Is it wise or advisable to “show” any of myself to someone who doesn’t leave anything more than an ambiguous pen name after their deeply personal questions? And what do you know of my life? “Less hardships” is a completely subjective statement. Less than what or who?
In closing I would like to say thank you, Inquisitor, for the questions asked. They made me think, which is what I believe you intended them to do. Kudos to you for that.
And now a “challenge” for you. Stop looking for the comfort of prepackaged answers to hide within. Learn to live with the questions. Learn to love the questions not for the answers they may or may not lead to but for the questions themselves. Stop looking and start watching.
In the last few days I have had “anonymous” comments left by people who do not identify themselves by anything but a pen name, giving me no context in which to respond because I do not know whom I am responding to. This is a consequence of having a blog in which I allow anyone to view and anyone to comment on. And I am ok with this.
Now onto the “challenge” and my response. Someone going by the name of “Inquisitor” left two comments both full of questions to which I may not have the kind of answers they are seeking. Here we go.
“I've read several of your blogs and often say to myself...so what? What's the purpose? Why are you doing this?...It's like your spinning, void of direction, why? What is your focus?”
First off I would like to welcome you, Inquisitor, to the postmodern era. Welcome. Life is not as it appears and cannot simply be summed up by a “vision statement”. I believe that those who offer answers and ways of “direction” for your life are not to be trusted. They are salesmen trying to diminish the complexity of life into a five-step success plan. My focus, if you must know, is to lose focus. Lose control, lose myself, and lose my mind. “Its only after you’ve lost everything that you’re free to do anything” states Palahniuk.
“Any creation or artistic expenditure has a purpose… What is your purpose? Where are you going with this? Why are you doing it? What is its goal? What is YOUR goal?”
Often that creative “purpose” you speak of is to create something that society cannot immediately deem “purposeful”. I do not create for the sake of others. I create because I must and I create for myself. If you derive some fuzzy feeling or inspiration from what I have put forth please understand that this is only an unintended side effect of my creative musings.
“Your posts leave me empty...famished, but with the TASTE of possibility. I'm hungry feed me with more than self-masturbation, self-inventory, hopeless despairs about the state of the world, and self-edification.”
It’s a very Western idea (and in this context I am intending “Western” to serve as an insult, so by all means please feel free to be insulted) to think that art or creativity should give you the viewer something in return. If you are “famished” and looking for “possibility” perhaps you have come to the wrong place. I am no sage, savior or prophet dispensing advice, hope or ways to better live life to the hungry masses. There are enough places for you to find what you are looking for and that is not what I have created this space to be.
Walk into any church, self help seminar or bookstore and you are bound to find something to fill you up if what you are seeking is only to sate the hunger pains you experience. I say stay hungry for the questions and forget the supposedly fulfilling answers that are peddled on street corners like so much cheap sex.
Of course you will find “self-masturbation, self-inventory, hopeless despairs about the state of the world, and self-edification” on my blog, that’s partly why it exists. On top of that I give you the reader the complete right to interpret what I write any way you like. Where you see only “hopeless despairs about the state of the world” others might see hope. Yet again I will restate that this blog is not a place for you to find hope or whatever else it is you might be looking for.
“Where have you come from? What were u made for? Who are u doing this for? Show me what you are made of, or are u too soft in the comfort of your life with less hardships?”
So this is the last set of questions to which I will respond. Where I have come from and what I am made for are wholly unanswerable questions as far as I am concerned, so I will not answer them. As far as “showing you what I am made of” goes I can only ask you this question in return, is it possible to show something like that over a blog? Is it wise or advisable to “show” any of myself to someone who doesn’t leave anything more than an ambiguous pen name after their deeply personal questions? And what do you know of my life? “Less hardships” is a completely subjective statement. Less than what or who?
In closing I would like to say thank you, Inquisitor, for the questions asked. They made me think, which is what I believe you intended them to do. Kudos to you for that.
And now a “challenge” for you. Stop looking for the comfort of prepackaged answers to hide within. Learn to live with the questions. Learn to love the questions not for the answers they may or may not lead to but for the questions themselves. Stop looking and start watching.
posted by Corey at 12:37 PM
9 Comments:
sorry the d-bags are swarming.
i didn't know a travelogue of photos and short prose could stir up such envy and frustration. i'm guessing the anger has to do with you not doing under the banner of "jesus" as opposed to just doing it for regular reasons?
yeah, you're probably right about the "banner of jesus" thing. i think i understand where they are coming from with their questions, i just think its a bit pretentious to believe that this blog is supposed to be serving a particular purpose and more specifically whatever purpose it is they believe in.
but i like the comments (to an certain extent) and the challenges they bring with them.
I've actually incorporated your blog posts into the outline for my new 12-step program, so...if you could touch on the whole "what does it all mean" topic, that would be great. Thanks.
Sierra,
i'll send you all the specs as soon as i get them figured out. It may be a while.
well said, man.
it strikes me that there seem to be two ways we try to move people. one is with a crowbar- prying them forward, the other is with a beautiful table, full of the best food, the aroma of curry and rosemary spilling past huge glasses of deep red wine, making their stomachs growl with desire....
also, there is suffering and pain on the table... did i forget to mention that?
Wow, you go away for a week and your friends come under attack! Well said Corey!
Obviously this is someone who knows nothing of you or your life. And you are right, there are no clear cut answers, no three step plan to success, and no easy way to sit with all this World offers in both beauty and tragedy. True wisdom simply recognizes that and continues with the struggle.
I admire and respect you for allowing the rest of us to sit with you in that place. And yes, this is your Blog, your medium to express what goes on in your head, to create for the purpose of creation. It needs be no more than that and will still be incredibly valuable to others.
corey,
i get these jackass comments a lot and i am never nearly as graceful nor articulate in my responses.
i just end up calling them jackasses and deuche bags.
Ben,
thanks for the insight. you're a wise man.
Carlene,
As always, thank you for helping me to know i'm not alone in what i am thinking.
Mike,
Welcome to the blog. It took me hours of staring at the computer screen to come up with my response to this individual.
Their is a part of me that just wanted to ignore, delete it or call them a jackass. But i decided it would be better for me to use this instance to address these questions fully. I know whoever wrote this is not the only one who feels this way about my life.
In a way this post was also an open letter to many people that do not know me anymore. they know a version of me that lives in the past but not who i acutally am right now.
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