Palahniuk

“We used to go to church to reveal the worst aspects of ourselves, our sins. To tell our stories. To be recognized. To be forgiven. And to be redeemed, accepted back into our community. This ritual was our way to stay connected to people and to resolve our anxiety before it could take us so far from humanity that we would be lost.”

This is an excerpt taken from a book called Stranger Than Fiction: True Stories by Chuck Palahniuk. This is the same author that brought us the book Fight Club, which Hollywood would later make into a big screen movie. This is a man who has written books about self destruction, pornography and murder. A few years back he was scandalized in the press for having an ongoing homosexual relationship and not telling anyone. People had a hard time accepting that the man who wrote a book of such machismo proportions could also be gay. But he was and all of their preconceived notions of what a man “is” were shattered with his confession.

This twisted, depraved and sick man is fast becoming someone I feel something in common with. The simple fact that he is willing to confront the most twisted parts of human nature with blinding honesty stands as a testament to his own search for redemption. While I do not advocate the way he seeks out redemption, I fully relate to his overwhelming drive and desire to find acceptance by any means possible. I to have sought (and continue to seek) less than holy means in my search for redemption. For that brief moment when everything in my being screams, “this is what makes you, you have finally arrived and now you are truly alive.”

And then I die all over again.