11.05.2006

Lose Everything

Hi. This entry comes to you from a boy trying to learn what it means to be man in a society raised by women.

This boy has been frightened lately (as boys tend to be, especially mamas boys) and hasn’t known what to make of the world around him. He hears of nothing but chaos and death near and far. All is rot and nothing is as it should be, at least that’s what he is told.

This boy got fed up yesterday and decided to quit bitching about the problems and begin to pray to a God who is bigger than all of this (I have to believe that or everything really is rot and damnation). Not sedentary prayers, but prayers of belief and faith that something will be put right, if not now then in the future.

I don’t know how to pray. Really what I mean to say by that is I haven’t had the balls to pray and have completely ceased to even utter a plea from my lips. That was until the other day. I told god that I didn’t want to become hard. I told him I didn’t want to become bitter. I told him I didn’t want to give up, crawl into a hole of apathy and wait for the end to come.

I feel good today. I feel good about the prayer and I even have a small shred of something I haven’t had in months; hope. I wont get to ahead of myself in all of this but there definitely is something there that wasn’t a few days ago.

Its good to believe in Jesus. If you ask me to explain that statement I probably wont be able to. All I will say is that Christ said things that we will not understand while still in these bodies. Because, as Tyler Durden says in Fight Club, “Its only after we’ve lost everything that we are free to do anything.”

3 Comments:

Blogger jacqui said...

...and hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us...
Romans 5.5

11:43 AM  
Blogger Audrey said...

hey corey, you have met me a few times in vancouver...but i checked out some of your pics, wow, really good. you are talented, there are so many that i would pay to have on my wall! keep it up!

11:52 PM  
Blogger Ross O said...

I too look forward to the day we get to understand all the things that don't seem right in this place.1 Cor.13. 12.

12:47 PM  

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