10.21.2006

Unraveled


25. There is something about that number and even something more about having that number attached to your being. I broke down today as I thought about 25 and how soon it would be gone. When I say broke down I mean crying really hard for like 15 minutes. I have to admit that even on my best days I am scared as hell and very unsure and insecure about my existence in this society.

Yeah, that was a pretty honest statement, but if you know me at all you know that I am bundle of honest confessions just waiting to be unraveled.

Today I realized that there is something happening inside me, something that I can't pinpoint (I know, your saying “its called growing up”). There is either a part of me that is dying or a part of me that the world is attempting to kill, either way there is death involved. That’s what I wept for today. The feeling of something inside of me trying to be destroyed that doesn’t want to be destroyed.

If you feel the need to comment on this post please use sincerity in your responses. I have not written this post looking for answers, I just felt like it needed to be written. To all of you that have read my posts week after week and month after month, thank you.

This blog is as much for you as it is for me.

“And everything that I said do,
like make the world brand new, take the time for you.
I just got lost and slept right through the dawn,
and the world spins madly on.”

~The Weepies

7 Comments:

Anonymous leslie said...

well i have been looking at the 17-35mm lens and the 80-300 lens. they are more pricey but from what I have been reading all the professionals really dig them. So, i'm just saving.

and you will be proud...I vowed to only shoot in manual from now on.

in other news, josh should talk, we have pictures of him running around in his tighty whiteys on the video cams, yes i said it.

11:06 AM  
Blogger Pashka said...

hey dude. so whats going on? did you turn 25? sorry but i quiet didnt get it.
I love you man. if you still planing on coming next summer, I will hofully get drivers licence, and may be get zaparojec( one of those small cars) me and jengish want to ride somewhere in K-stan. but we dont know where yet.
Love you bro.

12:01 AM  
Blogger Corey said...

Nah Pash, in a couple of months i will be leaving the number 25 behind as i embrace 26 (Christmas will hail not only the birth of Christ but also my birth). I was just reflecting on the signifigance of being 25.

Leslie,

Thats really funny. You should email me those pics so i can "accidently" leak them out onto the internet. That would rule.

12:21 AM  
Blogger Pashka said...

you sounded very very depressed.
so i was just worrying. by the way i will be 21 soon (in January) ha ha getting older too.
I love you bro and I am praying for you.

10:03 PM  
Blogger Corey said...

thanks pash, its nice to know your looking out for me. i love you too.

11:19 PM  
Anonymous Sierra said...

I understand! How young now does 30 seem...

1:07 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

cool bro

9:26 PM  

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