Writing a post late at night.

Sorry to say but this post has the potential to be neither deep nor insightful. The day ran away from me and the time I planned to spend writing this post just wasn't available.

Either way, I didn't want to leave you with nothing so hear is a picture I took of raindrops (yes, its raining in Seattle as always) on a bike seat. I spotted these drops while eating a plate of organic wheat spaghetti (mhhh) that my friend Sam prepared.

What compelled me to take the picture was the way the light was back lighting the raindrops as they hung from the bike seat.

I know water drops are way over shot but hey, sometimes its nice to walk a path that's already well worn (that is probably one of the stupidest things I've ever said but I am tired remember).

Hope your weekend has been enjoyable thus far.

Lets call this picture
"Wood and Water: A Look At the Connection Between What We Are and What We Could Be."

Sams back!

This is Sam. Tomorrow he comes home to Seattle from his long (8 months) journey around the world. Seriously, this guy has traveled from Seattle to Las Vegas, Paris, Pakistan, New Zealand, and Australia, back to New Zealand and finally back to Seattle!

He has spent that time teaching, helping, and leading DTS’s in all of the above said locations. I miss Sam immensely. We worked together with Youth With A Mission Vancouver three summers ago leading a summer program they run called Mission Adventures.

Summers in the Pacific Northwest are amazing. The rain that usually hangs over the cities goes somewhere else and the sun warms everything up making for just gorgeous weather. All of the pasty white people attempt to bask in the rays of their new found friend, the sun, and always end up looking foolish and awkward while attempting it. You will inevitably have a good number of folks walking around in shorts with Tiva sandals strapped on tight over their navy blue socks.

Whoa, just became super distracted as I wrote this. I didn’t mean to go off about summer for an entire paragraph. It’s fairly late for me as I write this so I apologize for any inconsistency in subject matter.

What I meant to write was a tribute to the homecoming of a good friend of mine. Sam is one of the most servant-hearted people I know. Sam is such a good friend that sometimes I wonder why he is my friend. I put so little into our relationship but get so much out of it I almost feel guilty sometimes. He is constantly asking me if I need anything, he has literally given me the shirt off his back at least a few times. Sam takes note of everything and doesn’t hesitate to ask me how I'm doing when I'm having a bad day. Sam always knows when I'm having a bad day.

So here is the most overused statement that I’m sure you here quite often but I really mean it when I say that it is a real blessing to know Sam.

"I feel so different from everyone else."

This afternoon is spent at the Bread of Life Mission with Jeff Schuerman. The number 66 bus picks me up at 11:15 a.m. at the 42nd and Roosevelt stop in front of the University of Washington Medical Center. There is a pleasant conversation between an older black man and myself as we ride down into the city. My bus stops at the ferry terminal, I exit then walk four blocks down to South Main Street where The Bread of Life Mission is located.

As I approach the Mission a few familiar faces greet me and the usual sense of safety and warmth wash over me as I step inside the building through the kitchen entrance. For me, safety in Seattle is found amongst those who prisons are built for and most folks steer clear of. My wary glances are not cast at the unshaven vagabond on the corner but to the healthy, glowing middle class that comes to the city everyday to get what they can and scurries away before the sun goes down.

Back in the mission I have ascended the two flights of carpet covered stairs and make my way to Jeff's room. A knock on the door brings a weak reply from within. I enter.

Jeff is on his bed and lying on his side. Since his surgery to try and stymie the progress of his cancer it has been hard for him to lie flat on his back. He greets me with a smile (as always) and I ask him some general questions about how he his doing. The questions are more for my sake, not his.

After a few minutes the black digital recorder is pulled from my worn Eastpak and I begin to record his thoughts.

Within the first three minutes of his “confessional” he starts to talk about how different he feels from everyone else around him. My heart sinks as I listen to him speak and a general feeling of helplessness sweeps over me.

Here is an excerpt from what Jeff spoke.

“I feel so different from everyone else; I feel alienated a lot. I'm sittin’ here thinkin’ out of everybody here in the Mission, out of the 63 guys we get every night and out of all the guys in the program, I'm the only one that’s like this. I feel like these guys, they don’t know what to say to me at times because they know I'm different.”

Below is a picture of Jeff lying in his bed while men in the program roam the halls.
The pills are to prevent seizures.

Looking for the intersection...

Here's a snippet from a conversation I had with Joelle last night.

Me: “…one of my biggest fears is that I will not be able to mesh the three together and yet still hold fast to what I truly have a deep desire to do”.

Joelle: “But don’t you think that the three can coexist together with a healthy balance struck between them?”

Me: “Yes, I fully believe that. It's just a matter of getting my mind to agree.”

The “three” we were discussing “meshing” together was job, dream, and marriage. I confessed to Joelle that mentally it is the hardest thing for me to see how what I would like to do in life (dream) and what I should do in life (job, marriage) can come together and actually strengthen each other. I mean what can you do when you think that a job or marriage can only take away from the thing that is closest to your heart? On the other hand I fully believe that there is a point where the lines intersect; I just don’t know where that point is and even worse I don’t know how to get there.

I have thought about this idea for a long time, but last night was the first time I could identify the problem so concisely.

Perhaps I’ll expound on this thought a little later. It’s kind of “rough” right now and I'm afraid that I have taken to rambling.

Pictures in a coffee shop

Here are some pictures I've had on display in a local coffee shop for the last three weeks. They are pictures I took of people while I was traveling in Kyrgyzstan. This is my second "display" since moving to Seattle and I feel truly blessed to live in a place with so many outlets for the sharing of creativity.

My friend Scott and I (he let me share wall space with him) had an artist reception for our images the other night and it went great. A lot of our friends showed up to support us and I felt very loved. Thanks to everyone who came out and showed support.

Click here to view more images of Kyrgyzstan.

Veggies 101

I have started a vegetable garden! This is something I have wanted to do for a long time and I'm excited to finally be able to say "I have a garden". I watched my mom plant flowers and landscape the yard all my life and now I am finally following in her footsteps and growing some of my own greens.

Since I live in a city, space is always an issue. Last year my friend Heather started a small garden in a space between the Greyhouse and the apartments that almost back up to the house. I went back there this year and got all Rambo on this overgrown area. I cut up this crazy looking bush and made a space for my garden.

Here is a before and after picture of the space I cleared away.

I have planted a variety of veggies including cucumbers, carrots, and tomatoes. My goal is too basically grow all the fixins needed to make a rockin’ salad.

You might ask “why are you making a garden, are you going all communal hippie on us?”. Well, not exactly. I believe God definitely wants us to take care of this beautiful planet called earth (Gen. 1:28-29) and for me caring for a little patch of earth is a good place to start learning about this land He has given us.

If you would like to get involved in this project you can do that in a variety of ways. You can send money (donate online or send checks to the mailing addy given on the main page) to help cover the cost of seeds, gardening tools, and other materials needed for the upkeep of the garden (I would like to make a “water barrel” and that costs about $30.00 dollars). You can also email me any advice you might have about gardening; I'm a novice at doing this. Or you can simply pray that I will have the knowledge and know- how to make this garden a success.

Thanks for your participation.

Soundslide

Welcome to the continuation of a journey from a more professional site to a more personal site. I plan to try and keep a more up to date posting schedule on this blog.

Over the next few months I will be changing my CoreyHau.com site to a place geared more towards my serious photography interests and finished projects. This site will be dedicated to all of the creative processes that go on behind the scenes. I will post personal stories and unfinished ideas on this blog.

I hope you enjoy what you find here.

For my first post I wanted to share with you a little slideshow I put together about my friend Jeff. I have been with Jeff in the hospital for the last week as he’s struggled through two surgeries in an attempt too put a stop the cancer that is destroying his body.

This “sound-slide” is not a finished product. I threw it together a few nights ago simply because I was feeling creative and needed an outlet for that creativity.

So view the slideshow and let me know what you think of it. Turn up the sound on your computer before playing the show. Jeff talks candidly about the struggle of being an independent man who now has to depend on others for everything.

Click here for the "Soundslide".

Innocence...?

Despite what Google might say, this is not what innocence looks like (even though pictures of unicorns do tend to make me feel at peace).

Here is what Oxford has to say about innocence: the lack of corruption, purity.

I walked by Scarecrow Video (a huge video store) this afternoon and saw a movie poster that said something on it about innocence. It showed a little girl in a spring dress holding her hands behind her, the little girl obviously symbolizing the innocence that once was and could never again be.

I recently received an email from a friend and in it they talked about a time years ago when they were still innocent. I told them that I believed innocence was something that didn’t have to be lost, a memory growing forever further away with each waking day.

I spoke to myself when I wrote those words. I often long to go back too innocent. To be a boy who looked at the world with eyes wide open in wonder. This morning, while sitting in the backseat of my friends Bug, I watched a group of children walk by and
one of the children, a girl, looked at me with a look only someone who hasn’t lived through years of fear or hurt could give. I wanted to cry in the backseat of that little blue Bug.

Lately I have noticed a deepening desire to go back too the innocence I once knew. Not to go back to some place in time, not back to an ideal, but back to an innocence that brought complete trust in the One who formed me long. An innocence that brings me back to God.