I was reading a blog kept by a major church
leader here in Seattle and my heart sank. To be honest, along with my heart sinking so did my spirit. I held back tears as I made my way home from the YWAM office (the non profit organization I work with).
that had brought so much pain was written by a man I assume deals with a good bit of hurt himself and has built walls and put people in boxes in order to try and preserve his own heart. In this entry the man spoke of other believers from a haughty place that I believe exists only in his imagination.
Why did this affect me? For the simple reason that I have struggled so much with the church in America in the last few years and feel so out of place because I have chosen to take a step back and not form opinions on the “hot” issues that surround evangelical circles from Seattle to Atlanta and every where in-between.
I don’t have an answer for homosexuality, war, democrats, republicans or any of the other million issues that seem to divide and polarize Christians and in turn make them irrelevant and irrational to an already skeptical world.
Is it the worst thing in the world to NOT have an answer for everything? Everything I see around me screams a resounding YES!!! You must have a position for everything. And not only must you have a position and opinion on everything but you must also vocalize and publicize that opinion to everyone, whether they ask for it or not.
I’m not much into movements, revolutions or anything like that but I would like to say that the Emergent Church
has some very good processing going on in a lot of the areas I am struggling with (oh crap, now I’m promoting a movement I don’t even know that much about, Lord save me from the comfort of piddly answers to unanswerable questions!). One of these Emergent fellows (its funny that I use a capitol E to denote the “importance” of this movement) named Brian Mclaren
(I think he’s one of the main guys behind this whole conspiracy) said something along the lines of how the church has plenty that it disagrees on and how we should be known for what unites us and not what divides us. Well said Mr. Mclaren (sorry I cannot find the source for that quote, you'll just have to trust me on this one).
This entry is a bit of a milestone for me as I have not to a large degree publicized much of anything in the way of my feelings or thoughts on the church in America. I used to hide behind pat answers to life’s hard questions but I don’t find comfort in those answers anymore.
A lot of my answers went out the window that February day in 2004 when I stood in front of a tree in a Cambodian orchard
and read a sign that told of how Khmer Rouge
soldiers took babies by their feet and swung their helpless bodies headfirst into the trunk of that tree until they cried no more. It made it very hard for me to think of explaining to the mother of said baby that it was in Gods plan for her baby to die that way, maybe that’s because she wasn’t their for me to tell her that since she had been beheaded and thrown into a mass grave only a few feet from the tree where her baby had been murdered.
I think that God has an answer for all of this; I just don’t want to pretend to know what it is.